Why are we Afraid of standing out?
By Stacey Teytel
From a young age, people always want to blend in. We do everything possible to make sure that we do not stand out in a negative way. According to psychology today people seek out familiarity in order to “feel secure” in the world (Cannon 2016). We find it difficult to be the odd one out because of the need for conformity that has been in society since the puritanical times. Countless social experiments have been done to examine the psychological effects of being left out, one of which includes a video game where a ball is being thrown between three participants, and then two start throwing the ball between only the two of them. The effect was seen to be “social pain” (Cohen 2022). The effect of wanting to never experience social ostracism is seen to peak in teenage years, driving most “teen recklessness” (Cohen 2022). It is honestly a scary thought that our fears of societal rejection can drive us so much. Oftentimes this is why it is hard to feel confident when you are different, especially physically. For example, wearing a brace out in public or having very bad scoliosis that makes your posture visibly different from others. However, this is not something that should ever stop anyone. There is always something that will make you different, and just because ours is one that can be seen without talking to us does not mean that we should sacrifice our health in order to blend in, doing things like not wearing the brace at all even though doctors have said to wear it. It is important to always prioritize ourselves, not the public perception of us. This way we, as a society, don’t need to all conform in order to feel secure in our own skin. I know that this seems to be a bit cliche, but this message cannot be overstated. The impact of not listening to doctor’s orders, just because it will help you blend in at the moment can be detrimental to your wellbeing in the future. The overall takeaway is, do you want to fit in for a moment now, or for forever later? Even outside of the health aspect, it is always better to think about the future and not be controlled by feeling in the now.
Works Cited
Cohen, Geoffrey L. “Speaking of Psychology: How the need to belong drives human behavior, with Geoffrey L. Cohen, PhD.” American Psychological Association, September 2022, https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/human-behavior. Accessed 7 November 2024.
Ma, Lybi. “We All Want to Fit In.” Psychology Today, 13 July 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainstorm/201607/we-all-want-fit-in. Accessed 10 November 2024.
